alone doesnt mean lonely

So today i was at the dentist, yes finally having my two crowns placed !! yeey what a relief after several visit for root canal,sweet and sour yet more of funny tastes in my mouth i can finally breath knowing i dont have to open wide for the next two weeks…..the machinery used there is nothing to write home abut coz it would scare the living day lights out of you, but the soft gospel music playing from the cd would sooth me in the chair till my appointment is done….mmhh funny most of the time ive been there PRAISE YOU THROUGH THE STORM -casting crowns is whats been playing..i love this song by the way, but not today i cant recall what song had been playing coz i was too busy listening to God’s voice.

You see i woke up at 8am today from a very interesting dream, in this dream i was spending a quite,romantic even with my boyfriend..it had gotten to the point where we were just looking into each others eyes, wishing tme would stand still and this moment would never pass…and as if my neighbour had heard our thoughts, i was jolted out of my dream by a song done by kerri hilson, yep you guessed it KNOCK YOU DOWN !!!.

Went outside the house to catch the morning sun, you see this song brought with it memories,and as i stood there, there were millions of things going though my mind…none i can remember funny enough. so i went back to the house and just lay in bed,stood and walked around…and tears started welling on my eyes and i just wanted to cry, they say crying is a good thing it lets out the pain and the anger and it heals !! well ive had enough shares of tears believe you me but today instead of actually sobbing away, i talked to God and all i could manage to say was “God am lonely”.

Many times when i feel like this i say a short prayer and move on or call a friend and fix a date ! or just take a movie and let the akwardness within me pass..but today i stood there and waited for God to answer, i stood there demanding a right to an answer, as i stood still and quite i longed to be held tight and be affirmed that i was not alone…and the words came out so clearly like they did all those years ago…I love you, God loves you and alone doesnt mean your lonely.

I remembered this teaching i read from joyce meyer,

Know that God is with you all the time. In the Bible God reminds us that He is always with us and He’ll never forsake us (see Hebrews 13:5). Loneliness often leads us to ask ourselves all sorts of questions that can’t be answered, such as: What if I am alone for the rest of my life? What if this pain I am feeling never goes away? What if a problem arises that I don’t know how to handle on my own? What if…what if…what if…? The questions could go on and on endlessly. Chances are, you’ll never be able to answer the “what ifs” in life. But as long as you know that the Lord is with you, you can be assured that He has all the answers you need.

So as the dentist was removing the temporary teeth to place the new crowns, i remembered my temporary moment of loneliness and how in a matter of minutes it was replaced with love and joy,it reminded of how how many people who still have not known how much God loves them, how much he longed for a relationship with them. it reminded me of my primary purpose in this world. To tell everyone that God loved them. friend GOD LOVES YOU !!!It doesnt mean this times of aloneness will not come but how we will handle them and not let them dictate what happens to our day,or month or year, or how we will relate and live..thats whats important.

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path
psalms 119:105

Wanjiku Ndungu

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