Man Up !!

So I was talking to a friend of mine about the yes/no blog and as I explained to her what I wanted to put across in the blog on the issue of taking forever on making decisions. The topic kind of diverted on the decisions of who to date and who to marry came up, you see earlier in, life when I was growing up I always wondered why there were some very beautiful, intelligent, God fearing women who were still single despite the fact that the churches they attended we filled with handsome, successful God fearing men!! It always puzzled me and still kind of did until I got to that age and I was still single and thinking haiya kwani ko huendaje ?? (Like whats the deal??) You see like a blog I had early done apparently the more years we add into our lives the more demanding we get, the more choices we have, the more pretty pictures we paint about life, love and marriage.

I remember if you had asked me back in the day what I would want in a man or in a marriage I would say, a small house, two kids, food on the table and a husband who loved me! but later on as I hit puberty I wanted a guy with great looks (Antonio and Santiago would die !! ) someone who would buy me presents and make me feel like a princess, lets just say my earlier encounter with the Cinderella story dint help at all !! Yea that chick has messed it up for a lot of good guys in the world. By the time I was in my early 20’s and wanted to settle down I gave up on the jamaas wa mtaa I mean this was marriage not some dating game anymore…they say women date to marry and men marry to date !! he he he he I have no idea which women you guys have been hanging around with. Is it right?? Absolutely not!! I don’t approve of women or men wasting another’s persons years and time and having them invest emotionally when they know clearly it aint ending up no where.

women look at a lot of things but today I want to zero on the issue of “a man is suppose to provide and offer security I you see Here I was 20 something, living on my own, I worked hard to ensure I lived a comfortable life, I had my own little thing going on…so I convinced myself hey I deserve someone who has theirs going on as well, the only thing missing was a list, thank God I never went through that era that time…;) so a couple of years passed and I was still single an thinking God I’ve been praying without ceasing..What’s up?? Am I not beautiful enough? Not educated enough? Do I need a better job? New set of friends? Join a new church hey what’s going on?? during this time I was asked out by two great guys, my answer of course was no, I mean they were great and all but what did they have to offer ?? One was still living with his parents the other was a trying to break into the music industry. Seriously I didn’t see anyway that would have worked!! you see I had a different view of things I dint speak them out aloud but deed down inside me I wanted it all, the house, the man with the great looks, the car, the money, a great job and the love, I wanted a man who would spoil me, buy me flowers, take me on a weekend out of town, etc…that was my understanding of a man “providing”, sadly there are still 40something single women still waiting for this guy. For security I wanted the man who worked out, I know u have watched wresting..The rock!! heh wacha tu, so a great looking body, a problem free marriage and life…

In two years time one of the two great guys got married then had a son, started his own business. And let’s just say success was his portion, it only took a year for the musician to be noticed and recorded and he is where he wasn’t to be, a great singer by the way. I got engaged with the man of my dreams, 2 years later I broke it off a huge house, a car, a white picket fence is not worth sleepless nights worrying who he is with, not worth the pain and the disrespect and the drama….

Too many times we have let great guys go just because they dint have it all……look through your life you will surprised at how many of those guys left and became the one thing that you wanted. …the following are different bible verses
But if any man does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. ” 1 Timothy 5:8
“But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. ” 1 Cor 11:3
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, ” Ephesians 5:25
“Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them. ” Col 3:19

Men have been called to provide, love and be the head of the house; I haven’t seen a place written about the state of their pocket? Financial status when marrying you, what sort of car they drive, what business they are running or what their turnover was prior year. 80/20 % of this men are already married !! And no am not saying get married to just anyone. But when you’re dating someone get to know what their vision is?? Where do they want to be in so years?? Do they have a dream?? Let’s stop judging and missing out on the people God has brought our way. I mean what chance do our hard working brothers have ?? they are ready to marry and provide the much they can yet we dont give them a break ! and for my brother who God has already given you just great woman dont make her wait forever !! if you can put food on the table and pay the bills, then you can love and provide for her, lets us all pray and Listen to God’s instructions and obey……

Wanjiku Ndungu


7 thoughts on “Man Up !!

  1. Wow!! This is a great piece of writing. I hope people get to read it and practice it in real life not just in theory.
    Thanks Shiko.
    Great piece of work.

  2. I agree with you. Once you have married the lady of your choice, you have accomplished the mission and then the next mission now is to build your empire around her and you said, as men we are go-getters, we are lost working hard to provide for the lady and thus, the dating ends.. its now actual work… but I agree that we should continue dating amidst the busy busy schedules that we have to build the empire….

    Shish.. Thanks for your note gal.. twas a great eye opener! The problem is that ladies have so high rated or put very high standards that no one is able to meet them… again, we (most ladies here) do not have patience and thus we lose what God had prepared for us only to be envious when we see that God has given them what they didn’t have then and thus made us drop them….

    May God give us insight!!

  3. wow! that’s the best i can nailed it for sure. if a guy had written this,they would have been thought to be proud but this is just what we notice happening everyday.coming from a lady,this is very insightful.i’ll definitely share it.

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