Lets play house !


I arrived in nairobi that evening excited and nervous at the same time, i was happy and uncertain of what this long weekend awaited us, i mean here i was at the bus stage eargly awaiting to see him, had missed him terribly and all i wanted to do was wrap my arms around him, smell him,kiss him,hold his hand and have long conversations with him…i had not bothered to even tell my friends that i was in town because i just dint have enough time or was not sure how they would take my decision to spend at my boyfriends place for the weekend, they wouldnt understand any way…its not like we were planning to do anything!
How far is too far ?? almost 100% of teenagers have asked this question for generations, i tell you go to any youth forum and this question would pop up and all of them will be listening antentively to hear the answer so at to know how far they can go in their dating relationship or how far they have fallen or how far God can allow things to go. I asked this question many times long ago but there comes a point in life where we forget and start filling in the gaps to this question, it usually goes something like we are two grown adults, we both know what is right and wrong and we are in contol. Instead of learning to live away from this so called “margin “ we live on the edge of it every day and and every time we extend that hug,hold that hand,spend that night,kiss those lips,touch that waist,dance that close,wash those clothes,cook that meal,clean that house and the list is endless……i know its interesting and fun, and lovey dovey to finally be with that person who makes your heart tingle and your eyes widen and you run out of breath just thinking or speaking to him, the endless ohhh’ss and ahaas with your girlfriends and wanting to spend every waking minute with him !!

70% of the women i talked to did not see any problem with spending a night or sharing a bed or cuddling and fondling with this love of their life or prince in shinning armor or this elusive one who has finally emerged after years of waiting and praying…as long as it wasnt sex, so my question is arent this the same things that lead to sex ?? why would we especially as women put ourselves in this sort of situations ? For the longest time i always thought that the road or progress of a relationship laid enterly to the man, he chose when to meet,where to meet, depth of the conversations we had etc….so as i urgued with a guy sometime last year they made it clear that how far we want a realtionhip to go usually lies with the woman, i dictate or set pace on how our relationship grows, what steps it takes etc…if a boy friend held my hand or kissed me and i dint object or was fine with it, he took that as a sign that am actually saying yes this is acceptable, if i refused then he would know its not ! but agreeing to a kiss today and refusing him tomorrow is just confusing…what game are you playing ?? .

As the pace setter in a relationship what are your boundaries ?? are you living far away from the boundary line or just at the edge ? where is our moral margin ? i remember pastor munene asking ? like many women before me, many have seeked advice from different forums on matters of the heart i believe thay have heard this many times “ FOLLOW YOUR HEART” oh and havent we followed this heart…we have followed this heart and staying in abusive relationships, we have followed this heart and gave cheating parters chances to break the same hearts over and over again, we have followed this heart and slaved for men who we dint end up getting married to, we have followed his heart and ended up with no self esteem, we have followed this heart and given up on the chances and privilage of loving or being loved ever again because of past hurts…the bible says in jeremiah 17:9 the heart is deceitful (wicked) above all things and beyond cure, who can understand it ? i say follow God in matters of the heart for only he has the right answers and right direction. Lets dare to be different women in this generation, women who stayed pure and kept their brothers accountable, men are visionary , they react to what they see and then choose to act upon it or not, lets not make it harder for them , though i still believe they should take responsibity of all their actions and espeacilly what they choose to see and watch…..

WWJD ? (what would Jesus do ?) am not a great fan of this question but i can never seem to escape it ? this holiday season as you clean his house, wash his clothes,take out his garbage,share his bed,run his errands ask if our Lord and Saviour would approve of it before you both say i do.dear friend keep your feet on the floor stop playing around with fire which can easy light up and burn you, stop living at the edge of the cliff you might just fall and like a friend of mine once confessed she dint know it would happen, she never thought it would come to this, they were so careful and comfortable that they dint realise how comfortable they got….this are her words exactly.,
like jeremiah we should flee from sexual temptation or any temptation for that matter without leaving a forwarding address (edward munene)

Merry Chrismas

Wanjiku Ndungu

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5 thoughts on “Lets play house !

  1. Classic piece right there…. in whatever relationship you are in that hasn’t matured and bears the name marriage, do not get comfortable…do not risk…do not assume anything at all…But it is going well you may say….. Yes! when it is going all well….Pause retrace your steps…stand at a distance and place a border line…u may never forgive yourself for not doing it…Be concious!

  2. Wow!! This is deep and true…
    At times, I get people asking me this question and answering this question as you said is difficult.

    Nevertheless… we need to watch our boundaries and get to know the limits that we can pass or not…
    Thanks for this!!

    Shalom!

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