A woman defined-Purity where did i leave you ?

He told me, he loved me, wanted to marry me, have babies with me..spend the rest of his life with me,We were both christians, So from early on we had set boundaries, and it worked fine for as long as i can remember until the other day when he came over to my place, came closer to my space and held me, how long i had waited for that kind of embrace only God knows, i longed to be his wife, to be one with him in mind ,body and soul…as he held me, and drew me close his eyes staring deeply into my soul i knew i wanted more….our fingers interlocked and i dint want to let go ! In the back of my mind i heard a gentle whisper say no, but my mind had alreay been made up, my body had already sealed my fate, my desires and expectations were sky rocket high,He said it was ok, everyone was doing it, and besides i was scared to let him go because someone else would give him what i could not… there was no turning back, All the sunday lessons flooded my mind, my pastors words played around in my head, my mums eyes..her beautiful eyes were staring,a look of dissapointment, but there was no turning back, i wanted this, we wanted this , we could do this, then everything ..everything would go back to normal…..

Its been several years since i last saw him, the disgust on his face still haunts me, he has moved on to another you see…and so have i, only this time it was just not to one other, but to many others….searching to gain back that feeling, that longing that happy girl who once believed that sex was meant for marriage, that intimacy belonged to two who were united. Now a shadow is all i remained, i had a piece of memory from chris,peter,jack,john,phillip and who else i cant remember….my body has grown numb and evrytime i lay there i lie to myself that i will fake it like a guy, but my tears later when he dresses up and leaves me remind me that I am a woman, relationship after relationships without gurantees or responsbilities.

We live in a generation where sex has became so casual, PURITY WHERE DID I LEAVE YOU ? Is it possible for me to go back and regain all i have lost, all i have given up ? what is happening in our generation today ? has sex, an act that God created sollemly for a man and woman who are joined together in a sacred union became so casual ? is it easy to just lay there and 5 minutes later walk away without a glance or remorse of some sort.We read the news and 80% of women are intoduced to sex everyday below the age of 10. it grieves me that their flower is given up, its petals plucked out so early without a choice, But what about us who grew up or have learned knowing the right time an place for sex ?

How long will you give in to your boyfriends demnds in order for him to stay, how long will you lay it down to hide your insecutities and shame…how long will my tears last to regain what i lost…how long, please tell me how long ? dont judge me, wipe that disgust off your face, you let him touch you and caress you and you think thats ok ? well thats where it al begins little girl…thats where it all begins.

Is SEX worth waiting for ?is purity lost in this generation ? how can we get it back ? do we have writters out there to wirte about it ? can i please get role models to live it ? pleaase give me a preacher to preach it and let mothers and sister and pastors wives talk about it ?


I am starting a revolution, a generation who are totally sold out for Christ, a generation who will say WE WILL WAIT ! a generation of purity, a woman defined.

I am going to rebel because Rebellion is no longer drinking, smoking and having sex because that is already famous. Rebellion is living right, being pure in a generation already lost!!! With that Said LETS REBEL!!! -Bernard Rwenji

for my generation
Wanjiku Ndungu


9 thoughts on “A woman defined-Purity where did i leave you ?

  1. Thanx dia.This is powerful.The work of the enemy is to steal, kill n destroy but Jesus came so that we can be free and free indeed.Choose to be free!

  2. Open rebuke is better than hidden love, Thanks Ciiku for always keeping us on tabs to REBEL. I am doing it, and trust me am proud of it and never need to join the bandwagon of what guys are doing to look cool. Sad enough Christians are victim of this!!! I pray we will go back to the heart of worship!!

  3. This is wonderful Ciku, and so heart rending, because not many girls tell it like it is. Married for two years now to a wonderful man, only regret i have is i wish i waited for him, and wish i waited with him as well… Sex is sooooo much more than an act, i wish i didnt have the horrible memories of the past, everytime i think of other guys i’ve been with, i cringe , its disgusting and its shameful…. But when im with my man, its fulfilling, meaningful, and i enjoy it so much , that i want to give my self even more and more to him…… if its one thing i can tell someone whos wondering if its worth the wait….. OOOOOOO YEEAAAHHHHH it is…

  4. Wow, I greatly admire your boldness in confronting this issue, and I sure hope among those that read this will make conscious decisions to live the truth.
    I am a man married for 5 years and can put my bit in the discussion – as much as it may seem a single ladies issue, it is not when you consider the christian perspective that requires an absolute standard of purity (Eph 5:3), ‘…not even a hint’.
    I am currently in a book study for men, majority of whom are married, and as we’ve discussed sexual purity, we’ve realized that marriage is not a solution. single or married, it is required of us to make a decision to be followers of Christ.
    My bit of advice to all is to set our eyes beyond marriage – set our eyes on purity that we may please God, before the wedding, after, and beyond. that way, we save ourselves the anxiety that comes with waiting for a mirage, and we are able to be fulfilled in Christ alone now.
    That said, it might be important to note that the battle against sexual impurity like any other form of impurity is a battle against our old Adamic nature, which however much we try, …cannot be taught new tricks. the adamic nature is the nature of sin and does so naturally. the solution is to lean to live by the new nature, the nature of God that does not sin which every christian is born to at receiving Christ as Lord and savior. the bar is high, but nothing shall be impossible to him that believes.
    I have found out from experience that taking time to study the word of God regularly and private prayer and worship goes a long way in transforming a Christian’s thought/soul life, hence influencing their response to different potentially tempting situations.

    Finally, single ladies, be of good cheer – there is a remnant amongst the brothers.

  5. This was written over a year ago, I am so encouraged there are people out there still after God’s Heart. I read through all this and I feel in fellowship. Big ups to all of you, and to Shiku Ndung’u. The only escape from this is to flee- with all our might, our strength, and our yearning to remain in God’s will, FLEE as Joseph did- I have learnt reading and meditating on the word of God keeps the voice of the Holy Spirit so clear in our ears, lets…listen carefully.

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