He told me, he loved me, wanted to marry me, have babies with me..spend the rest of his life with me,We were both christians, So from early on we had set boundaries, and it worked fine for as long as i can remember until the other day when he came over to my place, came closer to my space and held me, how long i had waited for that kind of embrace only God knows, i longed to be his wife, to be one with him in mind ,body and soul…as he held me, and drew me close his eyes staring deeply into my soul i knew i wanted more….our fingers interlocked and i dint want to let go ! In the back of my mind i heard a gentle whisper say no, but my mind had alreay been made up, my body had already sealed my fate, my desires and expectations were sky rocket high,He said it was ok, everyone was doing it, and besides i was scared to let him go because someone else would give him what i could not… there was no turning back, All the sunday lessons flooded my mind, my pastors words played around in my head, my mums eyes..her beautiful eyes were staring,a look of dissapointment, but there was no turning back, i wanted this, we wanted this , we could do this, then everything ..everything would go back to normal…..
Its been several years since i last saw him, the disgust on his face still haunts me, he has moved on to another you see…and so have i, only this time it was just not to one other, but to many others….searching to gain back that feeling, that longing that happy girl who once believed that sex was meant for marriage, that intimacy belonged to two who were united. Now a shadow is all i remained, i had a piece of memory from chris,peter,jack,john,phillip and who else i cant remember….my body has grown numb and evrytime i lay there i lie to myself that i will fake it like a guy, but my tears later when he dresses up and leaves me remind me that I am a woman, relationship after relationships without gurantees or responsbilities.
We live in a generation where sex has became so casual, PURITY WHERE DID I LEAVE YOU ? Is it possible for me to go back and regain all i have lost, all i have given up ? what is happening in our generation today ? has sex, an act that God created sollemly for a man and woman who are joined together in a sacred union became so casual ? is it easy to just lay there and 5 minutes later walk away without a glance or remorse of some sort.We read the news and 80% of women are intoduced to sex everyday below the age of 10. it grieves me that their flower is given up, its petals plucked out so early without a choice, But what about us who grew up or have learned knowing the right time an place for sex ?
How long will you give in to your boyfriends demnds in order for him to stay, how long will you lay it down to hide your insecutities and shame…how long will my tears last to regain what i lost…how long, please tell me how long ? dont judge me, wipe that disgust off your face, you let him touch you and caress you and you think thats ok ? well thats where it al begins little girl…thats where it all begins.
Is SEX worth waiting for ?is purity lost in this generation ? how can we get it back ? do we have writters out there to wirte about it ? can i please get role models to live it ? pleaase give me a preacher to preach it and let mothers and sister and pastors wives talk about it ?
PURITY WHERE DID I LIVE YOU ?.
I am starting a revolution, a generation who are totally sold out for Christ, a generation who will say WE WILL WAIT ! a generation of purity, a woman defined.
I am going to rebel because Rebellion is no longer drinking, smoking and having sex because that is already famous. Rebellion is living right, being pure in a generation already lost!!! With that Said LETS REBEL!!! -Bernard Rwenji
for my generation