Hi everyone. I know ,i know its been a few weeks since i wrote, i totally blame,the honey glazed chicken, kinanda fest and seeing a guy down on one knee 😉 . see even you totally understand, derailment 101 !, i would have done some serious posts here if i was not on a certain unmentioned cloud after an episode of twirling around under the stars ! see what guys make us do. Anyway after weeks of detox am here, ok let me get to the post already.
So after attending a beautiful wedding a few weeks ago ,i sort of got into panic mode, no. not the ones that ohh my friends are all getting married and there are no men in the horizon, not the biological clock is ticking and my babies would confuse me for grandma instead of mum,, not even the 60/40 ratio of men to women bothers me anymore, but as the couple rode off to the sunset the question of how well do they know each other came to mind, weird right ? but follow me on this,
You meet a guy say in church or a restaurant or even at a work function, actually let me bring it closer to home, meeting on facebook or twitter ,see now your interested he he he….so yes you meet, maybe even exchange numbers on the first day, he calls after a few days and you go out for coffee,or ice cream and you get to chat , get to know one anothers likes and dislikes, some even fast forward to dreams ,hopes and ambitions on the first date, and with the era of social media, some of these things are gotten over with online, by the time you actually meet you preety much know what you want. So there you have it, more coffee dates ,lunch dates,meet my friends date,double dates,meet my family dates and after what seems like a whirlwind romance he goes down to one knee,and as niency nash of clean house would say BAM !! .
Engagement, the ooooosss’and aaaa’sss from family and friends, then comes the fairtale wedding and you all live happly ever after NOT ! why you ask ? well you forgot to tell him about the bit that you hate doing laundry , or the fact that you cant cook ! oh let me not forget that your organization skills are zero and all those discussions about world trading, the constitution and man u being your favourate football team were all well, calling a spade a spade, A LIE. You see am not judging you, i mean what choice did you have ? He loves football, watched the damn thing every time its on telly and it was the only way you could get to spend more time with him, am not sure if it was time you wanted to spend or warnings you wanted to send to the ladies around him, dont even get me started on the constitution ! spending comparing different constitutions to urge point like It happened throughout the 1960s and, of course, in the 1970s there was the Constitution Commission, headed by HOB Wooding. In the late 1980s, there was the Constitution Commission under Sir Isaac Hyatali. The most recent renaissance of this discussion is traced back to 2006 when “The Principles of Fairness Committee,” led by Tajmool Hosein, circulated a draft constitution. A few months later, Sir Ellis Clarke, at the request of the Prime Minister, produced a document as well and …and …and what??? dont get me wrong but if that thing dint interest you…and what about world trading , my Russian Export Blend Crude Oil (REBCO) financial futures contract, on the CME Globex(R) electronic trading platform and the ClearPort(R) electronic clearing and trading platform, beginning November 23 for trade date November 24. Haki my head just hurt reading that.
We live in a world where we put up images of ourselves for others to see, are there any real people out there ? am i real ? is who i say i am, the real me or am i different in my deeds, yesterday ‘s sermon asked a very interesting question who are you when everyone is watching ?? if your work mates, church friends and social circle were put together in the same room would they describe you the same way ?? We live in an era where everyone one is trying to impress, the latest car,bigger house, better school, better this and that forgetting that its so easy to be ourselves and that this images we put across cost us so much to maintain, i mean look at the the divorce rate in kenya its so high on the rise , actually the only thing that is minimising it is are the expensive legal costs, but people still opt to separate and go their different ways, Because after a year or two of marriage the man looks at you and honestly tells you , your not the woman i married,.
You see when he married you , you painted this picture of yourself, you gave him this image,please indulge me, your from work ,hurry home, he comes over for dinner in your house and everything, and i mean everything is sparkling clean, organized, nothing out of place ! he figures, since he is not such an organizer well you will compliment him , you have dinner, literally serve him and his heart just melts , i mean this woman !! after your done with dinner you insist to do the dishes, apparently you dont like leaving dirty dishes overnight, so you clean and sit back , all made up and you chat him up until he lives. This happens almost the same way in the course of your courtship. Your his home maker, some women even go to the extent of going over to the guys house on the weekend to clean up the house, dishes,laundy the works. And for some crazy reason after marriage they expect this man to understand that the dont like doing laundry ? they cant cook ? they cant keep a clean house day in day out ? the cant carry a conversation on the constitution let alone the curent happenings in the country, yes this is not the woman he married.What about the mini skirted,long weave,fake nails, 6inch heels !! His trophy wife, now all you do is wear flats,spend all day in your pjs and stockings and last months weave, imean your married now, you no longer want to go for all those social functions that you loved dressing up for. Life happened i guess.
In my panic i talked to afew couples and came to realise how a huge deal discusing the little things and honesty really is in a relationship, ladies lets not tell of who we want to be but who we are now, let someone know you for who you are, i mean i think am preety little thing ;), not always put together but the other day someone said i was predictable but what you might not know is that my house is a zoo ! there are many things i dont like doing, nah i wont make them public, but like christine and bob one of the couples i talked to , the whole point of being you and being honest over what you can and cant do, helps both of you come to a compromise of some sorts, take for example christine is not a big fun of laundry so early on they decided they would outsource this service and therefore every Tuesday a sally, or mary comes does the laundry, cleans the house and for a small fee everyone is happy ! peter and linda love each other but linda and the kitchen well….they dont get along so well, so every Saturday afternoon peris comes over ensures that beans,maize,peas are all boiled and packed in the fridge not forgetting her husbands favourte meal, chapatis, a week supply of food is sorted and everyone is again, happy !! It’s dangerous to be like somebody else… If God wanted you to be like someone else,He would have given you what He gave them, right ?
I Guess all am saying is Image is nothing,Real is everything –Edward Munene
Love you girls