soul tie.

There are many things that freak me out when it comes to marriage,and for the longest time i always thought it was the cooking bit he he, no i will not get into that because i think at some point you will all start connecting the dots.last time i revealed my house was a zoo….well i have never gotten over it ! 😉 , so as the images were coming off this past month (those attending icc-msa, would relate to this).
I started noting down the things that really did scare me about this beautiful covenant that God created for a man and a woman,since am being real and everything the main one that really came out was sex, yes sex……

You see i have been around for a very long while and have been exposed to all sort of things, from sex to ponography,mastubation,oral sex and the list goes on, and on and one thing i can tell you is that as sure as the sun rises every morning i can remember my experiences with the men i have been with. With some its been years but the act of sex,or forms of plesure, or self gratification is still fresh in my mind because in one way or the other i am tied to them.I would ask myself if i were to get married how will sex be between my huband and i (or is it me and my husband ?? #Tunde help !) will he satisfy me sexually?? Will he be better than Chris or Alvin or does he know that little trick that Peter does ? imagine lying in your husband or wife’s arms but your thoughts are scattered to 2-10 souls depending on the number of men you have been intimate with, for some it was never sex but just oral sex…sex is sex whether oral,mastabation…dont kid yourself.or the number of model or ponographic materials you have been watching through the years.

The bible in the book of ephesians 5:31 says ,” For this reason shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. What this verse says in plain language is that the coming together or the joining together of a man and woman in marriage is sealed in the act of sex. Hence becoming one flesh! So please do an exercise with me, and note down all the men or women you have ever been intimate with. As far as Ephesians goes you have been married to all of them. Now please tell me how this man who is supposed to spend the rest of their life with you has a chance at doing exactly that, if your still have all this soul’s tied to you. This verse in the bible for me it speaks not only about a joining together of two bodies in the flesh but in the spirit as well.

Soul ties can be in this other form that we rarely discuss, “just friends” let me elaborate with a story, I had known (let’s call him Joe) for like 2 years, we were introduced by a mutual friend of ours, we never got to hang out often because we lived in different towns, but that dint stop us from talking everyday on the phone, texting back and forth,emails and literally discussing each and every detail of our lives, I poured my heart out to my Joe and he was someone I could depend on, no matter what for 4 years I have known Joe and we have never been physical, don’t get me wrong he was attractive but what we had was more. So I knew this was a friendship to last. A couple of years later he started dating and so did I and we would talk about the people we were currently with and just how in one way or the other they dint understand our friendship, but all this came crumbling down one day when he told me that his girlfriend was pregnant, being honest and all I was devastated, I mean I couldn’t understand it, how could he have sex with this woman? We had a bond stronger than anything, he was the one I could tell everything, share everything, laugh with, be silly with, he felt my pain, my joy shared in my frustrations, he knew my highs and lows, but now he was tied to another I was confused..I thought he was a soul mate, I thought…

Let me tell you several things that soul ties do :

It hinders our ability to receive. In other words, the affection that is being given to us by any other person besides the one our soul is tied to does not appear to reach our heart. I never could understand how two people could be in a relationship without being intimate, i mean for me that was plain rejection !

– A soul tie limits your giving. Even though we give all our heart, we have only a portion to give. You can only give what’s yours to give. A divided soul does not affect your giving, but it does affect how much you have to give.

-It hinders us from trusting people,or starting over with someone new because we are comfortable with where we were and whom we were with and how they made us feel.

-It hinders us from living in the present and enjoying marriage or forms of intimacy with other people.we are always comparing, or in the back of our mind thinking so and so would have done this and that or knew exactly which buttons to push..

So allow me to ask you this,how many have there been ?? what experiences or memories are you going to bring in your marriage bed ?? how can we break free from this soul ties to ensure that we come into a marriage union with no sexual babbage or soul ties.

Three ways that i am learning break this soul ties

In the spirit : this is by confessing of the sinful relationship , repentance and breaking of the soul tie. They say the first step to freedom is admitting there is a problem , so ackowldge the soul ties and ask God who freely offers his forgiveness to do so.

In the soul : this is where its hard i tell you, but i have gone as far as ceasing communication with the people i have had a soul tie with, i have prayed for them, accepted forgivenes from God and forgave them and let go.

In the body : A new covenant needs to be made, a secondary virginity is something that people choose to do and start over, but you need to constantly remember that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit as God to to renew you mind,spirit and soul. Your flesh is never saved lets be honest so be careful about what you watch,what you read, your conversations least they lead you in temptation.

Gifts and stuff, that i got in my previous relationships or ties, i have choose to let them go, no matter how expensive. I have given them away and some things i have buried completely.i dont need a reminder because i want a new beginning.

For my friends reading this that are yet to travel down this road, i only have this to tell you “Young women of Jerusalem, swear to me that you will not awaken love or arouse love before its proper time. Songs of solomon 8:4

Ask yourself, are you ready to let go ?

Much love


26 thoughts on “soul tie.

  1. very brave to share that. God makes things new doesn’t matter what the old is. hard to walk straight in this sex filled world.

    also speaking as a man wouldn’t want to be compared … God taught us about those boundaries for a reason.

    all the best rebel!

  2. Am still trying to figure out an emotionless comment to this… I have tried to count the past & let’s just say, I need to make some things right.
    Some time back I had to break up a relationship coz I realized I needed to be right with God first before I could be worthy of her love…
    Am honestly praying that whoever reads this, may it be an avenue to set them free & set them on the road to restoration… #Rebel

  3. Ciku,this is so very profound n real to the core! Soul ties are yokes that everyone needs to break if they hope to fully enjoy their spouses. NO MORE SHEETS!

  4. Now #Truestory i once had a dream… in the dream it was my wedn day and i was standing next to my bride to be…holding hands. But the strange thing about this wedn was that i wasn’t the only one. To my right was another woman, and another one holding her hand and the line went on of interlocked hands. I then looked to my left, and saw my wife to be holding hands with another man, and a again, a series of interlocked hands of men.
    Strange? i know…at that point i woke up! Of course being a nightmare, but i was curios to see the faces of the women on my right…but trying to finish your dream by trying to sleep again after waking up #epicfail
    Moral of my dream, which i later sat down to ponder on was, these are the women i have being with, and those are the men she was with in her past.
    Even tho it was in our past, there was still a bond we shared, sexual intimacy is more than fluids mixing *insert gross here* 😀 but its also spiritual.

    With each experience, a part of me was left with them. Qn i was left asking, What will i have left for my wife to be?
    I shared the dream with my close friend at the time and we prayed about it, but i dint do anything more.
    Now Tunde is wiser 🙂

  5. ” I never could understand how two people could be in a relationship without being intimate, i mean for me that was plain rejection !”

    I hear you plain and clear!

  6. As I read this Post, I saw myself and I wondered what have I done to break any soul ties I had, that I just dismissed as *we were having fun*? and well… nothing. and so I learn from you again Ciku. You told me the truth,its convicting but I feel loved to know the Truth.
    God Bless you. Always a #Rebel.

  7. Wow. I love it when we face ourselves and deal with our detours. This is as uncompromisingly revealing, healing and delivering for the writer as it can get. I love the breaking of the soul part…as in what I can do myself to determine my healing. #WORD!!!

  8. WOW… This is deep Shish!!

    the *just friends* caught me Pap!! Being in ministry has opened my eyes and I think i didn’t understand that this is a deep one and in the course of counseling a few people, I ended up sharing out my life and theirs too… n I have never been the same. I now know why!

    Thanks for being candid and open. You are a blessing and may the Lord bless you even as you continue to share out to many others and I know, together we can change this nation and impact a generation!!

    MOTTO: Leave this place (world) BETTER, (Morally, Spiritually and in every aspect) that we FOUND it! This will be done thru’ being examples!


  9. Keeping it real. Soul ties need to be broken deliberately. You need to make a conscious decision to break from the people you have been involved with before. For anyone who is strugling with breaking soul ties the following site can help you make the first step towards freedom :

  10. #Soul-ties, I have a couple of my own. They can be toxic or I shouldn’t have learnt my lessons. I am a firm believer that things and people in our lives have their season. When their time is up it is time to let go. I still pay the price of soul-ties i never broke when I should have. So I have named them #MyPast, owned them and carry them along with my fine self..

    #Soul-ties have scalded me severally especially whenever I go ahead and commit the blunder of the century, by using my past as a measure to decide where my destiny is meant to take me. No wonder I have missed great opportunities.. No wonder i let go of a fine thing one too many times coz a soul-tie had me captive. The price we pay for the mediocrity that comes with #Soul-ties..

    Thanks. I found this one piece quite personal to say the least.


  11. I have learned of soul ties dealt with one or two but this one “just friends” hah ayea i need to deal with one but i looove this stuff we need to speak it out …there is nothing like no strings attached its a lie from the pit of hell ..May God help us

  12. Shiks, this is deep. Spot on! Thanks for this. I am seeing where I have gone wrong and need to break the soul ties in my life.
    Waah!! I need to share this.

  13. not all soulties are negative my mentor once told me when we were takling this one time.some can be very the bible we have jonathan and david etc.i wont get into there story, but i will say this.soul ties can make us better people if they are founded in God.anything else is a sham and a great deception. thanks ciku for the reminder. God bless

  14. Deep. Astoundingly so…

    Such an eye opener, and a reminder that ignoring certain things doesn’t make them go away.

  15. Pingback: God refreshed me, I seek to refresh you « i-Stopped ***

  16. Very intense and very open. Thank you for sharing. I personally do not believe that once two people have sex they are married in God’s eyes. If that were possible then there would be no such thing as premarital sex, or even adultery. I do believe, however, that sex bonds individuals in a way that nothing else can. The enemy will never fight fair so even when we break certain connections, we should continually “be sober, be vigilant..” like Peter tells us. Also, one wonderful blessing is that as strong as soul ties may be, the God who split the Red Sea is stronger, and in Him all things are possible. It is possible for a woman to leave her past behind, for a man to leave his past behind, and for them to face each other as new creations in Christ at the altar on their wedding day.

    Blessings and thanks again.

  17. funny how your 2012-2011 articles speak to me in 2015
    i’m among the daughters who haven’t awakened love
    n i’ve been wondering if its worth the wait
    But reading your experience has made me to resolve to hold on to my purity(i may have done some touching here n there but that i’ll also stop)
    Thank you for being open about this…u’ve helped me in standing firm.

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