Woman to Woman……

I know that you are for me,
I know that you are for me,
I know that you will never forsake me in my weakness,
And I know that you have come even if to write upon my heart,
To remind me who you are……

The words to this song by Kari Jobe have literally pulled me through this month. Many are times in this Christian walk where things have not necessarily gone as we planned nor as we imagined. Normally like many other human beings we have plans, for women this plans include the warmth of loyal friends, the love of a good man, and the laughter of children and unity of families. A great satisfying career and financial security would definitely be an added bonus. We don’t ask for much really ;). Most times we journey through and intentionally or even strategically place ourselves in the hope that all these plans will fall into place before we hit the age of thirty. So we pray, write lists, go for every singles meeting s/dinners/re-treats we can, for some of us like I said, the intentions are clear over what they want, while some are too scared of the thought of saying it aloud, I mean what would people think if they hear me saying I need a man, long for him and want to spend my days with him.

This longing and desire has had us settle for carbon copies instead of God’s desire for us, let’s be real woman to woman how many saved, hot for Jesus, heaven bound and tongue speaking women do you know that are unequally or have at one time been unequally yoked with non-believers? 2 Corinthians 6:14 says Do not be yoked with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what a fellowship can light have with darkness. Teaching after teaching ,seminars, conferences , re-treats name it all have emphasized on the dangers, the consequences of being unequally yoked but it just never seems to stick, we never seem to get it. Don’t get me wrong the word of God says that He grants us the desires of our heart, the desire for love, affection, children, peace, wealth, friendships and all that, but there is a another kind of desire that is in us. I don’t know about the men but I have only heard women speak about it, and I have experienced it myself, A desire to be deeply loved, deeply cared for, a longing to be held and desperate need to be affirmed, a thirst for a kiss and a touch of the soul, this love..This love that no man has or will ever be able to provide for me.

For many years I have sought this love in a man, in my career, in my hobbies and interest but I have never found it, year after year, promotion after promotion, relationship after relationship, there has always been something missing, plenty of times I would think there was something wrong with me! I mean how do you explain my wanting someone to take over and posses me, satisfy me and unconditionally love me, and no not really in a sexual way but someone who would own me! I know I sound crazy right now and the poor guys in my life never stood a chance, but I longed and yearned for that! I compromised in so many ways and in so many areas of my life that at some point I couldn’t recognize who I was or what values I stood for anymore. I was this Christian who was just seeking for the next high. This is the problem we face when we confuse the desire for God to being a desire for a man. Because no matter how hard you try a man would never fill that kind of longing you have as a woman, a career will never fill it, nor would children and wealth. This desire can only be filled with God.

God is for you, it’s funny how many Christians have been in this walk but never fully get to cultivate an intimate relationship with God, we are so content in just doing what is right, what is acceptable and move on from there, we are comfortable worshipping a little, praising a little, giving a little not knowing that those things are secondary, What God really longs and desires for is intimacy with us, He desires to whisper in your ears, He desires for you to acknowledge Him in your life, He desires to bless you , He desires to lead you to the perfect plan and purpose that He has set out for your life since the beginning. God desires you and that’s why he has your name in the palm of His hand, God loves to love you because God is love! God wants you; He yearns to fellowship with you. The bible states in exodus 34:14 Our God is a jealous God.

Exodus 20:3-4 says you shall have no other gods before me; you shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. Most often than not we think that the gods referred here are other religions or have this mental picture of shrines and witchcraft and all, but by gods the bible simply states anything that hinders your fellowship, relations, intimacy with God is a god, it might me a spouse, a job, a car, sex, money, your pride, anything that you elevate or have a high regard towards, anything that takes first place in your life is a god period! let me remind you of something you have heard of over and over, God loved us so much that He gave his only son to die for our sins, not only did Jesus die for us to be free of sin but He reconciled us to God, Jesus opened the lines of communication between us and God so that we no longer have to go through the priest or the pastor or any other religious leader. We don’t need to sacrifice by killing a goat or a ram or anything for us to communicate and commune with God. We can freely go to His presence and talk to Him, and He talks back.

I don’t know about you, but I hungered and I searched and longed for so much more, and after searching and seeking I have come to the point of understanding that it’s okay, it’s alright because God is ready to fulfill this desire, Psalm 42: 1-2 David sings, as the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God, My soul thirst for God, for the living God, where can I go and meet with God? A lot of people admit to wanting to be men and women after God’s own heart just like David but the sad thing is they don’t want to do the work, any kind of relationship requires work, effort, giving, adjusting and so many other things, it just doesn’t happen, God did not just sit one day and decide to say that David was a man after His heart, but He saw how David took it upon himself to pursue Him, to learn about Him, to get to know Him, to talk and walk with Him, David would do something and before he questions what others would say he would quickly run to God to beg for forgiveness, He would do things that pleased God, He would listen and obey God, For a man who fell so many times David knew he could not do life without God, he needed him, wanted him, yearned for him. And day by day he found God and communed with Him.

Satisfaction is our greatest desire and I want nothing more than all of us to be fully satisfied in this life, but there is no greater joy than a satisfied, content woman in God. A man will never fill this void in your life, that’s the harsh truth, period! No amount of money or sex can, because a man wasn’t meant to in the first place, he can only sweep you off your feet for a few hours or a few days but God, He is timeless, He is always there, and no matter what comes your way, you can just run to Him and you will be safe.

I challenge you to go ahead and spend time with God, read His word, circle His promises in the bible and pray, pray like your life depended on it because it does, but at the same time be keen to listen as He responds. It is not a one off thing because again like any other relationship, you work on it, it’s a daily decision you make to pursue God. Woman to woman, the truth is I am still learning, I am being filled and met one need at a time. He is molding me to be the woman that He created me to be. Our God is love and He desires to love us more each day, fill us every day if only we allowed Him.

Ciku Ndungu


12 thoughts on “Woman to Woman……

  1. great piece we need more women after God’s own heart who are not swayed by other nerds but keep their eyes on the prize. the same goes for men too!

  2. Wow! thank you for your honesty Ciku. It is truely refreshing. Keep doing waht you are doing. I needed to hear this today.

  3. This insight should leave us shaking in our boots! When we judge others and condemn them in our hearts for not meeting our desires, we are imitating the Devil (see James 3:15; 4:7). We have doubled our idolatry problem: Not only have we let an idolatrous desire rule our hearts, but we have also set ourselves up as judging minigods. This is a formula for excruciating conflict.

  4. Your Hammer Once you uncover your idol, you can pull out the hammer and smash away! What is your hammer? Love. It’s really simple. Cultivating a greater love for God than for your idol is the answer to idolatry.

  5. Hello thank you so much for your blog. it has inspired me to beginning writing my story to the glory of God and each time I read your blog, I get inspiration of what to write. Thank u sis and God bless. Keep doing the best you can and God bless you more. xx

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