What I learnt from participating at “Masaku 7’s” in my day

Letter to a 20 year old.

Kenya Harlequins, Champions of Masaku Sevens for second consecutive year - Photograph courtesy of ur7s.com

Kenya Harlequins, Champions of Masaku Sevens for second consecutive year – Photograph courtesy of ur7s.com

My dear,

I thought I would write this in a letter form so that I might tempt you to read beyond the first paragraph, back in my day letters were the bomb dot com, we waited for them in high school and college with almost the same eagerness as you wait for Friday night, the first salary or having your own place for the first time. Whether it was a letter from a boy or girl who you thought was absolutely amazing, wait I hear it’s “amaaaziiiiing” these days. Don’t be fooled though I am only 10 years older than you so yes I am on Facebook, Twitter, and WhatsApp just to mention a few though I still can’t make out what Instagram is all about. I tried but the cow refused! I am laying this foundation to make you comfortable in the fact that this is not your mother or father talking, I know how parents can be. The ‘we used to’ speech is way too familiar and no, my parents were never number one at any point of their education the one thing they nailed very well though was cultivating good character and seeking wisdom.

I know this because I turned 30 the other day and realized the harsh truth “my parents were right all along”, yup believe it or not I guess they just did not communicate it in a way that I could understand. Anyway just having to admit this to you guys makes me feel like a traitor, a snitch, like I am acknowledging I should have listened and maybe I would have avoided the whole deep dark depressive days of my life. You see the thing is at that particular time we have our own set of ideas on what is right and wrong, well are they really ours or our friend or are they from the movies and radio stations we watch ? I digress…

I have come to realize that many times we rarely look at the whole picture. say for example when you begin college you are excited mostly because of the new found freedom, new friends new environment and what not, we rarely count the cost of being in college, the financial cost: which would remind us that our parents are working their butts off and most probably one of our siblings will have to forgo school for a year. What about the cost of time? Hey we will not live forever, the thing with time is that it can never be carried forward, a day like today, right now this minute, you will never get it back, as in once it passes it’s done, gone, kaput! Yet our lives have a limit of how much time we have to spend, for some of us we will live to be seventy some not so lucky. And the cost of purpose? I am a firm believer that each and every one of us was created for a purpose, our genetic makeup, thought process, abilities and talents are all part of a bigger picture and the beautiful thing about this cost is that it involves the world. We get the opportunity to change the world when we realize what mark we are supposed to leave in the world.

At 20 we have only seen and experienced a glimpse of what the world has to offer, so it’s still a good place to be at because all hope is yet to be lost. If there was something I could share with a 20 year old without going all pastor on you is that you are a unique human being, unique in the way you were created, in your thought process and that you are capable of making your own decisions but like I mention our fault is in never looking at the bigger picture the choices I make now have consequences now or later and the sad thing is that the decisions you make not only affect you but the people you love and those that love you in return.

Believe it or not the cycle of life has never changed just because you are at that age. In my 20’s we had less of the kind of fun things you guys do and this is not to mean that they were acceptable then nor now. Our definition of fun then was smoking weed, “dressing in clothes that began way too early and ended too late”, indulging in alcohol, changing guys like you would change clothes, flirting , club hopping etc. The definition of fun I see and hear of today would turn my grandfather in his grave! Homosexuality is the it, one night stands, dress as less as one can, vibrators are a girls companion, drinking has become a sad excuse and orgies have taken over, let me not forget the public grinding,twerking,cyber sex, the private house parties and everything that go on there just to mention a few.

The question of whether it is right or wrong has found each and every one of us at a crossroads of some sort in the journey called life, but I realized some years back that I have been asking the wrong question all along. It’s never whether the thing you are doing or the decision you are about to make is right or wrong, the question each and every one of us needs to ask ourselves often is, “Is it wise or not?”. Is it wise to be part of an orgy with friends or even unknown person not knowing where his private parts have been or who they have been doing? Is it wise to drink till you pass out at a club or rugby game with the excuse that your designated driver will get you home safely when the probability of them ending up with a one night stand are 10-0, clearly meaning you might be left high and dry in a club, alone and vulnerable? Is it wise to not dress up and disrespect your body by inviting all kinds of preying eyes?

Growing in wisdom comes from making wise choices in every circumstance and not necessarily the right choice. The bigger picture is that your 20’s will fly past and friends will change and move, will you still like the person you are now? Will you sit down with your children and share stories of Masaku 7s, Safaricom 7’s and other rugby tournaments, the road trip to Naivasha, Nakuru Mombasa etc. or will you like our parents twist and turn the truths hoping, wishing, praying that your children will never know your past or God forbid they turn out to be anything like you.

There is something that threw me off balance a few months ago that I see fit to share at this point of my letter. I did indulge in what we called fun in the 90’s and I thought as I left that life behind everything would be forgotten. Thank God I don’t have children yet. Last year I was in church hanging out with some friends after a movie night which takes place every third Friday of the month. (Let me invite you to join us for the movie night this July if you live in Mombasa. It’s the third Friday of the month at 6pm. don’t forget it). So we are talking and one of our newest staff introduces me to his brother the brother stretches his hand to greet me with a grin on his face, I pause out of confusion, see the thing is he is familiar to me, I can’t remember where or how I know him but I know him, somehow, somewhere we have met but I will never know where or under what circumstances. I have asked him severally to remind me but he says that’s in the past and that I wouldn’t want to remember, what about the time I was in the middle of sharing the word of God with the whole church and I spot this guy sitting smack in the middle of the 4th row. On seeing him, I start sweating as I remember very well where we were and the things I said and did .You see the past is often forgiven but rarely is it forgotten only God forgives and forgets.

My dear 20 something friend as I conclude let me share something that has changed as I have grown up. As you live your life having fun, posting photos on Facebook and Instagram as you post comments and like questionable pages, as you visit questionable pages on the web and have videos of yourself uploaded all over the internet, remember one day you will get out there, a degree in hand ready to conquer the world. Many times we lie to ourselves and think that we will leave that irresponsible life behind and get serious but we forget that the internet never forgets and faces are easy to remember and memories do not fade away easily. The job market today does extensive searches on the people they hire, they Google you to see what kind of person they are inviting to be part of their family as they seek to ascertain your character and how you will fit in to their organization and brand. I have seen enough reference check forms come to my desk for my boss to fill and I can tell you that companies are no longer moved by grades and points you scored in school. It is John Wooden who says, “Ability may get you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there.”

Make wise choices now and avoid the enticing fun that has the potential to devour your dreams of tomorrow.

For my generation

Wanjiku Ndungu

 

My Pain…..His Glory

It was a Tuesday like any other, I got into the office early and did a book report that was way past its due date, Deep and wide by Andy Stanley amazing book which I personally recommend to anyone who is pastoring or wants to pastor a church, let’s just say it will disturb you and inspire you at the same time. So I did my report and send it via Skype to my boss, yeah he is cool like that ;). My next step was Facebook I am in charge of the church account so basically I was busy uploading stuff, responding to messages , praying and just sharing information when a colleague asked me if I knew Maryanne (names have been changed) I said “sure thing what’s up ?, she went on to tell that she had seen a message from one of our common friends on Face book saying that Maryanne had passed on, I snorted and quickly searched Maryanne’s name on the Facebook engine only to find countless number of messages all verifying what my colleague had just shared. I can’t really explain what happened next but between not being able to breathe and calling another friend to really confirm what I had just read and calling a member of the family to give my condolences I mean everything was just happening too fast.

Two weeks prior to the news I had met with Maryanne at a mutual friends boutique, she had come to pick a dress which from our conversation would be for the evening party for a wedding she was attending I on the other hand was picking a dress for a coffee date which was to take place the next day, I remember her admonishing me about my disappearing act from her life and went on to mention how I haven’t even visited her in her new home. I agreed, not one who liked to argue especially when I know I am in the wrong and a date was to be set once our social calendars were less engaged and with that we said our goodbyes not knowing that it would be the last time I would ever see, touch, talk and hear her speak. So Tuesday came as a complete shock, and denial was my first reaction. It couldn’t be, not here, not now. But the thing about death is that its so final and there wasn’t much to do but pray and cry and pray some more and cry some more, I wasn’t even sure what I was praying for…all I know is that I talked God’s ears off that day.

Prayers at my church happen on Tuesday at 6pm and at some point I had to get myself together to ensure that everything was set for prayer time, at 6 sharp I was seated in my usual corner and song after song was sung all praising and worshiping this wonderful God whom I felt had failed miserably, you see in my human mind its somewhat understandable for death to take away someone who is sick, someone who is old, someone who is in pain, someone who is not following Him or serving Him or even someone who doesn’t  believe in Him, It might not be fair but it’s understandable, But Maryanne…she, she was so full of life, she was healthy, she was a mother, a wife, she served God daily , her smile was an encouragement to any kind of storm and I……I just couldn’t understand. When the choir began to sing “Be Magnified Oh Lord” I wanted to punch someone in the face….how can He be magnified, how can He be exalted at a time like this…….But still I found myself standing up, raising my hands and after a while began to sing along and telling Him that He is still magnified and exalted regardless of my situations regardless of my circumstances. I told Him I dint understand Him at times and I wasn’t happy with how things turn out at times that He had a lot of explaining to do when I got to heaven.

You see many times in this life we rejoice when everything is honky dory, when God is answering prayers, when our friends are receiving miracles, when our children are making right choices, when God is present and near and you can feel Him and touch Him and everything is just working out as best as we can imagine. But when tragedy strikes, when there are cracks in our relationships, when we lose someone we love, when we get fired, when terrorists invade our country when our whole world literally turns upside down, praising God becomes so hard, so difficult, the “why” questions is asked over and over again and we want someone to explain what is going on and why this is happening to us. We blame God, call Him names and for most Christians it is so easy for us to lose our faith, to give up, to throw in the towel, to be so overcome with such hopelessness. And if we are not careful we might never recover or even if we do we would have lost much more than we had planned to.

Sorrow and pain are not easy nor are they uncommon to us all , as a matter of fact no one escapes sorrow or pain depending on their wealth, status in society , marriage status etc…we all experience it at some point in our lives. The bible on the other hand has endless verses that let me know hey there is going to be pain here and this is what the Lord has promised to do concerning it……

Psalm 147:3 ESV: He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Matthew 5:4 NIV: Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

John 16:33 NIV: I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

But the most my most interesting verse on all this is in Habakkuk 3:17-18 which says Even though the fig trees are all destroyed, and there is neither blossom left nor fruit; though the olive crops all fail, and the fields lie barren; even if the flocks die in the fields and the cattle barns are empty, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will be happy in the God of my salvation.

Meaning that regardless of what life throws at me, what I lose or gain and how much I suffer I will rejoice in the Lord who saved me, I will continue to bless this God. When we sing songs like, Still –Hill song United, Praise you in the storm –casting crowns on normal days they are just songs we sing but when it really matters its hard and it’s okay for them to be hard but remember God doesn’t change, He is not shocked by the happenings in the world or in your life , He sees all things knows all things and I am confident that the pain i feel, the pain you feel , the hurt will go away at some point but God will forever be God and a song like,  Never would have made it –Marvin Sapp would finally make so much sense.

For my generation.

Wanjiku Ndungu

Mzungu !!! -my foreign queens

She held back her tears, yet her pain is something she could not hide, the body has a language of its own it can give away our thoughts and feelings without us uttering a word. Her pain so deep, my ears was the only thing I could offer her right now.

It’s not the first time a beautiful white skinned, long glassy haired and blue, brown eyed queen had come to me broken, afraid, rejected, bruised and stained. Each time I felt like judas, each time, I prayed that I would not be around to face them. A coward!! Yes a coward that’s what I had been.

I knew he dint love her, I knew he was using her, I knew he was married with 3 kids, I knew…Yes I knew but I never once said anything to her…I never once questioned or warned her, I left her to her fate… “Hey it doesn’t affect me in any way! Besides it wasn’t my business” I would excuse it, “and besides this white women never listen! She might think I am after her man or something”…I concluded. But the day she found out that I her confidant knew, she dint go to him but came to me, asking me, begging me, screaming at me. Her Judas…her betrayer

As Mary screamed that day I couldn’t help but feel I had failed her, I had betrayed our friendship as she vowed to never set foot in Kenya again…a woman whose every October was spent in one of the most respected hotels in Mombasa had no respect for my country any more nor for its male species. She made it her quest to ensure that every woman she knew would hear her story but I guessed some months down the line she saw it pointless because the same thing happened all over again with her friend, or maybe it was too painful and shameful to share. In some weird way I drew comfort for the fact that they were both not saved, and maybe it was a punishment so some sort, how pathetic…

If you have ever lived or visited the coastal environs of Mombasa you would see them, all lovey dovey interracial couples walking the streets, strolling the beach, sharing drinks, holding hands, wining and dining and generally having the time of their lives! Many are stories behind these relationships, a hook up from a friend, a random meeting in a club, a good worker in a hotel or the most common feigning to be a maasai warrior….goodness haven’t I seen it all.

Having worked previously in the hotel industry and noting the difference between two male friends, one dating a mzungu, yet they already were married with children and to see how these guys skimmed and plotted on how to use the beautiful white skinned queens to gain wealth and acquire positions through lies and fake medical bills and documents of every kind.

When I met Leeann and Ivy a few years later after mars incident, I hesitated in sharing my fears with them because they were dating some decent saved brothers that I knew, but as months went on I could sense in my spirit that it wasn’t all well. So as the ladies got to confide in me I realized that it was the same pattern with Mary, I told them about Mary but they sort of shrugged it off since they believed that the guys they were dating would do them no harm, I tried pointing the same patterns but they wouldn’t hear any of it, so I sort of let it go. Needless to say the guys were not pleased in my meddling.

Several years later ivy got married and Leeann got engage and my worst fears were confirmed. As Leeann was busy planning the wedding, our so-called brother was busy spending her money, buying the latest clothes and hitting the latest joints. The final nail to that scenario is when she finally found out that he had a baby that he had never told her about, and that for all those years he had an affair behind her back, all this time, his friends knew but none uttered a word.

Ivy did eventually get married and moved to the states with her hubby sad to say their union only lasted a year, once he got there he dint need her anymore, he not only assaulted her, but emotionally toured her till she couldn’t take it anymore.

‘What manner of men are these?’ was the question that went through my mind, ‘Who never did anything for themselves?’ ‘Who calculated, plotted and preyed on our light skinned sisters only to dispose of them once they get to where they want?…I battled with this questions.

I now ask myself… ‘What can I do about it?’

Do you know of someone in a similar position? Same scenario? What are you doing about it or planning to do?

Least to say I am disgusted by what my brothers did, and what they still continue to do. Is a life in the states worth wasting 5 years for in a fake relationship with someone, lying, skimming, stealing, deceiving, and destroying someone else’s future? And worse still, sometimes the African wives or girlfriends know about the affairs but opt to keep quiet and reap the benefits i.e. the nice house, nice clothes, jewelry, local holidays and money…money that neither you nor your husband/boyfriend worked for.

What happened to our conscious? Where did our integrity go? Have we stooped this low, I used to think this was only done by the beach boys that hung around in hotels, but now it has crept into our back yards, our churches yet we still keep quite about it. Who is bold enough to say the truth? Who is bold enough to stand when the pastor asks; ‘is there anyone who has reason why this man and this woman should not be together?’

Think about it, right now it could be just our other sisters going through this, but next time it just might you.

All my love

ciku

soul tie.

There are many things that freak me out when it comes to marriage,and for the longest time i always thought it was the cooking bit he he, no i will not get into that because i think at some point you will all start connecting the dots.last time i revealed my house was a zoo….well i have never gotten over it ! 😉 , so as the images were coming off this past month (those attending icc-msa, would relate to this).
I started noting down the things that really did scare me about this beautiful covenant that God created for a man and a woman,since am being real and everything the main one that really came out was sex, yes sex……

You see i have been around for a very long while and have been exposed to all sort of things, from sex to ponography,mastubation,oral sex and the list goes on, and on and one thing i can tell you is that as sure as the sun rises every morning i can remember my experiences with the men i have been with. With some its been years but the act of sex,or forms of plesure, or self gratification is still fresh in my mind because in one way or the other i am tied to them.I would ask myself if i were to get married how will sex be between my huband and i (or is it me and my husband ?? #Tunde help !) will he satisfy me sexually?? Will he be better than Chris or Alvin or does he know that little trick that Peter does ? imagine lying in your husband or wife’s arms but your thoughts are scattered to 2-10 souls depending on the number of men you have been intimate with, for some it was never sex but just oral sex…sex is sex whether oral,mastabation…dont kid yourself.or the number of model or ponographic materials you have been watching through the years.

The bible in the book of ephesians 5:31 says ,” For this reason shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, and they shall be one flesh. What this verse says in plain language is that the coming together or the joining together of a man and woman in marriage is sealed in the act of sex. Hence becoming one flesh! So please do an exercise with me, and note down all the men or women you have ever been intimate with. As far as Ephesians goes you have been married to all of them. Now please tell me how this man who is supposed to spend the rest of their life with you has a chance at doing exactly that, if your still have all this soul’s tied to you. This verse in the bible for me it speaks not only about a joining together of two bodies in the flesh but in the spirit as well.

Soul ties can be in this other form that we rarely discuss, “just friends” let me elaborate with a story, I had known (let’s call him Joe) for like 2 years, we were introduced by a mutual friend of ours, we never got to hang out often because we lived in different towns, but that dint stop us from talking everyday on the phone, texting back and forth,emails and literally discussing each and every detail of our lives, I poured my heart out to my Joe and he was someone I could depend on, no matter what for 4 years I have known Joe and we have never been physical, don’t get me wrong he was attractive but what we had was more. So I knew this was a friendship to last. A couple of years later he started dating and so did I and we would talk about the people we were currently with and just how in one way or the other they dint understand our friendship, but all this came crumbling down one day when he told me that his girlfriend was pregnant, being honest and all I was devastated, I mean I couldn’t understand it, how could he have sex with this woman? We had a bond stronger than anything, he was the one I could tell everything, share everything, laugh with, be silly with, he felt my pain, my joy shared in my frustrations, he knew my highs and lows, but now he was tied to another I was confused..I thought he was a soul mate, I thought…

Let me tell you several things that soul ties do :

It hinders our ability to receive. In other words, the affection that is being given to us by any other person besides the one our soul is tied to does not appear to reach our heart. I never could understand how two people could be in a relationship without being intimate, i mean for me that was plain rejection !

– A soul tie limits your giving. Even though we give all our heart, we have only a portion to give. You can only give what’s yours to give. A divided soul does not affect your giving, but it does affect how much you have to give.

-It hinders us from trusting people,or starting over with someone new because we are comfortable with where we were and whom we were with and how they made us feel.

-It hinders us from living in the present and enjoying marriage or forms of intimacy with other people.we are always comparing, or in the back of our mind thinking so and so would have done this and that or knew exactly which buttons to push..

So allow me to ask you this,how many have there been ?? what experiences or memories are you going to bring in your marriage bed ?? how can we break free from this soul ties to ensure that we come into a marriage union with no sexual babbage or soul ties.

Three ways that i am learning break this soul ties

In the spirit : this is by confessing of the sinful relationship , repentance and breaking of the soul tie. They say the first step to freedom is admitting there is a problem , so ackowldge the soul ties and ask God who freely offers his forgiveness to do so.

In the soul : this is where its hard i tell you, but i have gone as far as ceasing communication with the people i have had a soul tie with, i have prayed for them, accepted forgivenes from God and forgave them and let go.

In the body : A new covenant needs to be made, a secondary virginity is something that people choose to do and start over, but you need to constantly remember that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit as God to to renew you mind,spirit and soul. Your flesh is never saved lets be honest so be careful about what you watch,what you read, your conversations least they lead you in temptation.

Gifts and stuff, that i got in my previous relationships or ties, i have choose to let them go, no matter how expensive. I have given them away and some things i have buried completely.i dont need a reminder because i want a new beginning.

For my friends reading this that are yet to travel down this road, i only have this to tell you “Young women of Jerusalem, swear to me that you will not awaken love or arouse love before its proper time. Songs of solomon 8:4

Ask yourself, are you ready to let go ?

Much love
ciku

A woman defined-Purity where did i leave you ?


He told me, he loved me, wanted to marry me, have babies with me..spend the rest of his life with me,We were both christians, So from early on we had set boundaries, and it worked fine for as long as i can remember until the other day when he came over to my place, came closer to my space and held me, how long i had waited for that kind of embrace only God knows, i longed to be his wife, to be one with him in mind ,body and soul…as he held me, and drew me close his eyes staring deeply into my soul i knew i wanted more….our fingers interlocked and i dint want to let go ! In the back of my mind i heard a gentle whisper say no, but my mind had alreay been made up, my body had already sealed my fate, my desires and expectations were sky rocket high,He said it was ok, everyone was doing it, and besides i was scared to let him go because someone else would give him what i could not… there was no turning back, All the sunday lessons flooded my mind, my pastors words played around in my head, my mums eyes..her beautiful eyes were staring,a look of dissapointment, but there was no turning back, i wanted this, we wanted this , we could do this, then everything ..everything would go back to normal…..

Its been several years since i last saw him, the disgust on his face still haunts me, he has moved on to another you see…and so have i, only this time it was just not to one other, but to many others….searching to gain back that feeling, that longing that happy girl who once believed that sex was meant for marriage, that intimacy belonged to two who were united. Now a shadow is all i remained, i had a piece of memory from chris,peter,jack,john,phillip and who else i cant remember….my body has grown numb and evrytime i lay there i lie to myself that i will fake it like a guy, but my tears later when he dresses up and leaves me remind me that I am a woman, relationship after relationships without gurantees or responsbilities.

We live in a generation where sex has became so casual, PURITY WHERE DID I LEAVE YOU ? Is it possible for me to go back and regain all i have lost, all i have given up ? what is happening in our generation today ? has sex, an act that God created sollemly for a man and woman who are joined together in a sacred union became so casual ? is it easy to just lay there and 5 minutes later walk away without a glance or remorse of some sort.We read the news and 80% of women are intoduced to sex everyday below the age of 10. it grieves me that their flower is given up, its petals plucked out so early without a choice, But what about us who grew up or have learned knowing the right time an place for sex ?

How long will you give in to your boyfriends demnds in order for him to stay, how long will you lay it down to hide your insecutities and shame…how long will my tears last to regain what i lost…how long, please tell me how long ? dont judge me, wipe that disgust off your face, you let him touch you and caress you and you think thats ok ? well thats where it al begins little girl…thats where it all begins.

Is SEX worth waiting for ?is purity lost in this generation ? how can we get it back ? do we have writters out there to wirte about it ? can i please get role models to live it ? pleaase give me a preacher to preach it and let mothers and sister and pastors wives talk about it ?

PURITY WHERE DID I LIVE YOU ?.

I am starting a revolution, a generation who are totally sold out for Christ, a generation who will say WE WILL WAIT ! a generation of purity, a woman defined.

I am going to rebel because Rebellion is no longer drinking, smoking and having sex because that is already famous. Rebellion is living right, being pure in a generation already lost!!! With that Said LETS REBEL!!! -Bernard Rwenji

for my generation
Wanjiku Ndungu

Qualities of a godly husband

Hi everyone,

So, had promised a few of us that i will finally write this post, time and time again women have cried foul over the fact that they dint know what exactly to look for in a guy, you see the stage has from time in memorial set by worldy standards and magazines and society on what to look for in a guy or potential mate or husband. As i was pondering over this issue one day i decided to have a talk with my pastor and sure enough i went complaining how there were no guidelines, you know how comes men look up to proverbs 31, the standards there are so high ! lol but we are a work in progress and like peninah said it takes time before we all become this woman, her husband plays a big part into making her the woman she is…any way this is another story for another day.

All am saying i was tired of reading all this magazines and books about how to find a good man, 10 things a great husband possess, i know you have get my drift…….so my pastor sent referred me back to the bible. He challenged me to go through proverbs and there i would find my answers, so as a good girl 😉 , I took up the challenge and here are qualities i dug up,

In general, we can say that a woman should seek a man who is wise,thus proverbs gives us the characteristic of wise men.

1. A wise husband is kind and compassionate (12:10).

2. A wise husband is honest (29:24).

3. A wise husband is hard-working (12:11; 27:23-27).

4. A wise husband is truthful (12:17,19).

5. A wise husband exercises self-control (12:15; 16:32).

6. A wise husband has a gentle tongue (12:18; 15:1-2,4).

7. A wise husband is generous (14:21; 28:27).

8. A wise husband is willing to be corrected (even by his wife) and listens to counsel (12:15; 15:12,31-32; 28:13; 29:1).

9. A wise husband is a man of integrity (19:1; 20:7).

10. A wise husband is faithful and reliable (17:17; 29:3; contrast 25:19; 31:3).

11. A wise husband is forgiving (19:11).

12. A wise husband is willing to admit he is wrong (28:13).

13. A wise husband is humble (15:25,33; 16:18-19; 18:12; 29:23).

14. A wise husband is not contentious, but a peacemaker (17:1; 18:1,19).

15. A wise husband has control of his temper (14:29; 16:32; 17:27; 29:11).

16. A wise husband is a man who avoids excesses (20:1; 23:20-21, 29-35; 31:3-9).

17. A wise husband has a concern for others, especially the poor and the oppressed (29:7).

18. A wise husband can keep a confidence (17:9; 26:20).

19. A wise husband fears God and is obedient to His Word (13:13; 14:26; 16:20; 28:25; 31:30).

20. A wise husband is not a jealous man (27:4).

21. A The wise husband has a positive outlook on life (15:15; 17:22; 18:14).

There you have it !

blessed march people